Pakistani girl dating white guy

Pakistani girl dating white guy

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I'm Desi, and it was harder marrying into a white family than I thought

As a rule of thumb, the more hyphens needed to describe your cultural identity, the more confusing life will be. I was desperate to find a way to bring together the disparate aspects of my personality and thought the best way of doing that was by presenting my parents with a man who would not only meet their expectations, but also make me feel better about being a complete cultural cock-up. Plus, I was terrified of acting on my growing adolescent lust for boys in case God was actually watching, or my mum found and read my diary she did , and shamed me did that too, often. My role models were Sophia Coppola and Gwen Stefani. I gravitated towards white boys who were into the same things as me. My mother and I butted heads constantly about what I was up to. Part of me wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted, the other part chastised myself for not being everything that was expected of me.
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I’m Desi, and it was harder marrying into a white family than I thought

I was astounded by how much vitriol my piece generated from Muslims who, to paraphrase, told me I had no right to question why some of their women appeared to live more constrained lives than men. I was falsely accused of being a Muslim-hater, of conjuring up spurious conclusions based upon my own, unrepresentative story. This collective anger which led some women to email me privately to tell me how devotedly they loved their faith erupted even though I had stressed in my piece that I saw this primarily as a question of women's rights, being an example of males imposing values of obey and protect upon females, which happens in non-Muslim arenas too.
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My now-husband and I were six weeks into our engagement before I finally came clean to my family. As a child of Pakistani Muslim immigrants, I can assure you that, since I could remember, it had been drilled into my mind that my future husband must be Pakistani and a Muslim. Over the years, the rules relaxed a little.
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