Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for awhile — a factor that we didn't take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision.
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Picture this: Then, all of a sudden, it happens. Your BFF starts dating that person that you had already expressed interest in. What gives?
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My husband and I started out as friends — best friends who had to spend years convincing other people that we were only friends. But then, well, after that friendship blossomed and when both of us were out of relationships , there was a weird switch that happened in our brains. What if we tried to take things to the next level? Initially, we kept it a secret from our friend group. Since we were best friends, we obviously came from a very common friend group.
Now, as the dust is settling on what I see now was our inevitable breakup, we are both left reeling over the end of two different relationships — the romantic one and the friendship that used to be so strong. We bonded over our mutual love of writing, our equally-dark humor, and the way we both had a long list of ex-partners with funny anecdotes. Eventually, after he got me a job at the bar where he worked, we began spending more and more time together. We would go for coffee outside of class and work, we would call each other to talk about our days. There was no pressure with him.